Food as frenemy Food as healer

Image from microsoft clip art

Hi long time no see lovely foodie people. As you can see Ive not been here for a very long time. Its been very difficult to talk food, as my relationship to the stuff I scoff had to drastically change. November last year I was rushed into hospital , covered in some strange and unexplainable burning and scary looking rash, on top of which I hadn't been able to eat properly for weeks on end, (months even), well I had but my body wasnt very happy with any of it & had rapidly lost weight. I was extremely unwell. I wont go all serious and uncomfortable on you here, after all this is a lighthearted and fun space to talk about food, but lets say the weeks following that Hospital day were not very pretty. I was diagnosed with various auto immune illnesses.

It seems strange to talk about food and this particular illness on this food blog , (thats been an account of mine & he the mans many luxurious & rich heavy feastings), but our relationship between how we feel in our bodies and what we feed it are very connected & now I have learnt this the hard way. I wont go too distasteful on you and have you squirming at your screens, but I will discuss with you what its meant to me.

Being told (even for a few months , I remember pregnancy very well, ahh the need for a runny egg) , you cant eat most of the food groups you've existed on since the dawn of your time is challenging, painful & for me, downright shocking : I was sent home with 3 pages of foods to remove , albeit may be temporarily for say 6months to a year. Yes I have to go to that neurotic place first before I get to the, right what do I have to do to get through this stage. I had to stop dairy, wheat, meat , crucifers, aliums, cabbages & much more, I also had a feeling sugar was doing my body in to.

I had an addiction to sugar that had known no bounds; alcohol , sweets, sugar in teas, cakes , icing, candy floss, anything and everything to fix that sweet monster call . I do however prefer dark chocolate over milk, but one too many confectionery dairy milk bars have passed my lips the last 20+ years! Every morning started with a packet cereal & milk, tea with milk , sauces with cream, cream cheese on even more processed white wheat crackers.Yes pasta & bread had been a non stop staple for me also, eating everything and anything doughy & wheaty I could lay my hands on ; rye, 50/50, sourdough, pitas , challah, wholewheat granary's,naan & on & on. My saving grace, or so I thought ,was reducing my white over processed intake & changing much of it to 50/50 mix. Little did I know the havoc I was wreaking on my guts all these years! I think I may have fooled myself into thinking I was healthy & balanced, as I had eaten salads every day, the thing was that they always sat next to salamis, cured meats, sauces and dressings, all again laden with sugar, preservatives & other nasties. Well nasties for me & my body anyway!

The portion above was written about 5weeks ago,(to the day) & since December last year Ive been researching , seeking , reading and experimenting a better way with my munchies. Unfortunately Ive had a secondary diagnoses in the last few days, (although I had a hunch it was coming months ago) & lets say, it has far wider concerns, it now makes my body think that Im still unwell, even though the previous condition is nearly stable. It needs a much more multi leveled approach than just eats. As this space is for foodyism , I think I will save those thoughts and ideas on my blog Gifted Hand - my more esoteric space for things Reiki & metaphysical flavoured. I haven't been there for 10 months now , lets say it was having a long needed rest & recuperation like me!

Whats that saying once you learn new ways, you cant go back to how you were? I followed a well know USA web site for my condition(s) Heathers help for IBS to start with & to help my endeavour, which in its essence has some great ideas & some amazingly detailed supportive information; it suggests starting all meals with soluble fibre. So I then found myself starting a meal with rice every day or gluten free crackers or some such. It suggests buying or making your own artisan breads to ensure the ingredients are kept safe. I then found that may be rice wasn't quite right for me , as I continued to not feel so comfortable. There are however reams and reams of good recipes , (theres an unbelievable amount of them there), but for my confused little head it got over complicated, mix that in with trying to sub some of the US ingredients, remove my no no foods & I found myself struggling . I think I was hoping for a one stop shop or book or site , but it wasnt to be. I think Ive realised the best thing is to bring together lots of different types of food ways; one that suits some of my old cravings, albeit in a replacement of ingredients way & many that show me theres another way.

Its a steep learning curve and made more challenging , as he the mans pretty much wants to continue eating the same way he always has or so he thinks! Im also not yet completely 100% well versed on how to do raw & clean & remove some of the offenders from my diet. Im probably around 50% clued up , but thats not yet enough , as I will start to miss essential nutrient parts of my diet to keep my bodies needs up, like blood sugars (mine often drop to 3.8) & aiding gut function, working in my Glycemic load. I'm also not yet quite ready to give up animal proteins like chicken & fish, Im a carnivore & I dont think I can stop eating it. Red meat is another story, Im really not yet sure what Im going to do! I did have a cheeky steak at Gaucho a few weeks back, I'm not going to pretend I'm something Im not , I think Ive said it before! I need to find a better source of red meat that's cleaner and I know more of its provenance. I dont really fancy added hormones though thanks , mine are messed up already!! For now it will be a treat rather than a main player. I must also add , that I think there are some added benefits to eating cooked food also , it does mean that certain other vitamins and minerals are released that aren't as prominent when foods are raw. I also have the layer of having to add a few more lbs on my frame! I will find a balance that suits me somehow.


Im not here to change the world , not yet anyway, its more that right now I need to support my body to heal, repair, reverse and continue feeling good. Food for me needs to be my medicine, as a friend said to me a few months ago , when I couldn't face eating another plate of steamed rice with nothing added. If anyone takes an interest and wants to try what Im making great. If not , no problem, my path is for my needs right now and hopefully my 2 girls , as the cupcake (might have to rename her?), will show much interest in what Im making & wanting to try it all.

Im hoping Ill be fairly adept at making things and satisfying & satiating appetite. Its a bit like alcoholics anon , I will have to remove all links to my old addictions, Ive cleared out every cupboard and warned the troops that there may not be the same things at home anymore, (well a little , Im not quite that radical, yet)!! Somehow I have to find recipes that replace it , so that I dont have complete and utter deprivation , thats when I know It will be the slippery slope into the arms of sweet & doughy monster! I think I will have to list all the things I LOVED to eat and then make them in a clean cleansing way, a bit like before and after!

I feel it could be quite fun to change things up in my kitchen & expand on my knowledge of a wider food world, my body will thank me for it also. I will have to find a way of getting the energy going to do it all though, as Im challenged by the current symptoms of my illness , but a drip feed of change is better for anyone looking to shift years of any life patterns. It will be a gently does it, not my previous past life of all or nothing.

Today Ive been scouring sites and researching in a big way, theres an enormous wealth of information & sometimes its mind boggling to hone in on whats accessible and quite easy to adopt. I think I may have to organise another trip back to New York next year just to go visit this exciting looking restaurant Pure food and wine , by founder of web site Oneluckyduck.com & book writer Sarma Melngailis . I like her way & it rolls with my aesthetic with foods. I have no idea how I missed it last year! Also today I found Selene of blog Veganlicious, (especially like the idea of the raw cinnamon pancakes),this looks really interesting and many of her recipes look quite easily doable, breakfast is one of my biggest challenges , as Im trying to stay away from mostly all the normal boxed products & oatmeal porridge with various non dairy, non soy, non rice milks , (Im on the hunt for that too, Kara coconut milk's my latest & Jury's still out on that), can become very dull every single day, even with different fruits on top. I can see that eventually I will have charts up to help me with the variations every day. Yes, I like my charts , my head doesn't work quite in the same way it used to before getting my lovely syndrome! I will work around it!

So what about my piccy at the top of my blog? Does it reflect what Im doing? I may have to change it soon to give me a new symbol & help aid my efforts. I still like a bowl or two of chicken soup , but knedlach , well I may have to find a way to make them using GF substitutes, hmmm not sure theres GF matzo , will have to look into that one. May be I need to start knocking at the door of the kosher Brands in the Uk & demand GF versions of it all & removal of all the nasties, (HVP- Hydrolysed veg protein will be my 1st, really not good for my system right now), hmmmm , now theres a project!

Oh how times have changed

He the mans walked over to the sofa the other night holding a rather full tumbler , suspectfully looking like his new drink of favour ; a vodka sour, (this time it was just still lemonade he says), stating " doesn't the drinking vessel you drink out of change your enjoyment of the drink". Despite agreeing with him, I couldn't help wondering were did this version of he the mans come from!! This from the guy who when walking into John Lewis many many years ago to discuss wedding lists , said, "cutlery is just cutlery" !!!! On our holiday recently ,( be aware there should be a ponceyometer inserted here at level 10), I'm sure the barman blanched at he the mans insistence many nights that his sour be served in a rocks glass and not a Martini one.

He's rather partial to vodka sours lately and numerous other soury lemon liquids and even has a worrying penchant for apple cocktails too, ( I just hope his pinky finger is down at the time the glass is in hand!). Hes bought ALL the ingredients for appletinis , banana daiquiris , Caipirinha and his fave vodka sour. In fact his whole eating and drinking habits have taken a 360degree turnaround over the last 10yrs. As have mine and I don't know who has been fuelling who or were it started. Thinking back though I remember many a day spent wrecking my mums kitchen in the preparation of some concoction or another and making sure I had the right bits and pieces to do it all . I also remember as a child in my late papas house , having to have a certain spoon for my cereal and soups and god help him if it wasn't found!! eeeeeeeek in fact a certain little cupcake is frighteningly similar in that respect! So my thing with all things culinary started as a teenager in my own mums kitchen , which seems to be the way it goes for most.

So progress to now and our foodie passions also seem to include making sure that , (ponceyometer level 10 warning) , things are, cooked , served and eaten with the right dish, bowl, pot , pan and cutlery! One friend who's mentioned often on my blogs was bombarded with my Tagine passion for a whole afternoon a couple of years ago!

My latest search is the perfect dessert and ice cream dishes, some of these were quite classic , but didnt quite hit the mark ! Then there's these retro beauties from Alessi , seen at Panik for £20 each! I'm drooling at the orange one!

Then these at £53 at MBS wholesale for 10 that look very restaurant styleee, which I quite like too!

Although again , like the lack of dessert restaurants , I struggled to find many retailers with any great offer for this product type. The old buyer instinct in me always has to come out at these shopping hunts and I'm almost ready there with a product line idea for some buying team somewhere! I always want to make every experience better!

Don't get me wrong I'll slum it with the best of them and in those moments when sometimes all you want is a food pill and be done I'll eat with my fingers , out of paper , polystyrene (god forbid) or anything coming my way . Just at home in our own space we like to have fun and strive to do it with style. The only thing is that no one wants us back to there's after a dinner party here , as we tend to go on mission like the next Masterchef!!!! and now Ive said that all our future meals will probably be dire and we'll be eating humble pie not Heston's!!! and yes may some of it is posturing , but also , we just enjoy the process of it all and the enjoyment others have in eating what we serve and how we serve it.

OK so there's a little about our changes in passions of kitchen product, (the non food variety) , here's a little on the food side. Take tonight's dinner , the ubiquitous cheese platter. There was a time when only commercial plastic packaged cheddar and Philadelphia would be had and a look at my parents after dinner cheeses had me sneering at the smell (as you do until your "our age")! Tomato's would make me squirm and mushrooms , the texture alone used to send shivers down me. Now I believe at this stage he the mans would have only drunk beer, probably for fear of not appearing manly and only had cheddar in a toasty! Now hes standing here picking at the cheese platter and asking me if I want a Banana Daiquiri and if we should buy some Gavi de Gavi wine for the weekend!

Now we can be scoffing the lot and and poncing it at Neals Yard Dairy like any foodie worth their salt . Tonight's platter had : Talegio , Pecorino Toscano, keen's cheddar & Pie dAnlgoys.

Just dont go asking there for a "cheddar like Cathedral City" , he the mans made that mistake in the early noughties in the once famed but now closed Bluebird Food hall in Kings Road. To the reply of " we dont do pasteurised cheese like that here sir" in a tone created to inflate you like a pin to a balloon! Bless him , all he wanted really was a strong but sweet flavour and that at the time this was his best way to describe it! Now to that shop person Id give them one of these for being insulting in the name of food . One has to laugh at these things, food should be a joy and a giggle. There is nothing worse than staff who are snootier than you are!!

What is it that makes that change : is it maturity , influence , taste buds , or just popular culture and life ? Can you remember not wanting to eat certain things years ago and now crave them? Are you fussy about utensils and will only have tea in bone china? Or do others mistakenly see it as pickyness rather than an educated enjoyment?

I say enjoy it all anyway and while your at it pass me that Chablis Cru in a Crystal glass please and that sea bass wild not farmed and that Gruyere reserve in paper not cellophane!!!

ponceyometer 20 I think and who cares !!!!!